Write More Stories

I posted the second book of the Ridgewood Chronicles Trespassing: A Vree Erickson YA Novella on my My Books page. No sooner had I finished than I heard an objection from Lenny Stevens, one of my characters. His objection is about me changing Vree’s point of view in her stories from third person to first.

Here is what he said.

Hey, Lenny Stevens here. I think you’re making a mistake rewriting Vree Erickson’s stories to her point of view—aka first person POV. You’re trying to be trendy because many young adult books today are written that way. I say, “Leave it third person POV and get on with telling more stories.”

But I know you probably won’t listen to me, so that’s why I’ll keep butting in with my two cents. Then maybe you’ll see my point of view and listen to me.

So, yeah, I know first person POV makes the character seem closer to the reader: we follow along in their heads as they do business. “I went there, I saw this, I did such and such,” blah, blah, blah, etc. You can only tell the story of what the narrator experienced, or in the case of writing in present tense, experiences (please don’t write in present tense and make me box your ears with how much I hate that, too). When you write in good ole time-tested, reader approved third person past tense the way you did with many of your other stories, you can cover all important POVs and tell the story from different angles without switching back and forth from third person to first person. Many readers hate all that switching back and forth. And I’m one of them.

Another reason I dislike reading first person POV stories—suspenseful ones especially—is I find myself distracted from the story’s immediacy by thinking “You’re going to make it out alive. You’re telling the story after all!” First person POV kills suspense, and Vree’s stories are full of suspense.

So, Steve, if it’s closeness that seems lacking in her stories, I suggest writing them in deep POV. Deep POV is the feeling that the reader is in the characters’ shoes. The story is seen and felt through the characters’ experiences, history, thoughts and feelings, but told in third person POV without markers.

You may remember from those writing classes you took years ago, that markers are reminders to us readers that a character is doing something. She felt, he saw, she watched, he thought and so on. It’s reporting. It keeps readers removed from story events and the characters’ feelings. Get rid of them. Deep POV pulls us readers deeper into story events and deeper into the characters’ minds and hearts.

Here’s an example with the markers watched, thought, saw, and felt:

Lenny followed Vree to the pine tree behind the house and watched her toss her backpack atop a branch. When it stayed, she hurried back, never once looking to see if she was being followed.

And she thinks she’s being sneaky, he thought as he saw her go inside the house. Please.

Lenny waited a few minutes, then took Vree’s pack from the branch. He hesitated before he stuck his hand inside. He thought that the creature living in the green crystal would turn him into a toad as soon as he touched it. He flexed his hand and sucked in a breath before he felt three of the crystal’s smooth, icy facets burn at his fingertips.

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Here’s an example without markers:

Lenny followed Vree to the pine tree behind the house. She tossed her backpack atop a branch, then hurried back to the house, never once looking to see if anyone followed.

And she thinks she’s being sneaky? Please.

After waiting a few minutes, he rescued her pack, hesitating before he stuck his hand in. Would the creature living in the green crystal turn him into a toad as soon as he touched it? He flexed his hand, holding his breath before three of the crystal’s smooth, icy facets burned his fingertips.

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Without barriers like watched, thought, saw, and felt, the reader moves deeper into the story world by being one with the character instead of watching the character perform and react.

So there you have it: my stance to keep the stories about Vree and me at third person past tense and with deep POV.

If you take my advice, you’ll thank me that you did. I guarantee it.

Now, finish writing more stories about Vree and me so I can get more fans. I plan on starting a fan club and you’re not helping.

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Thanks for joining me. If you agree with Lenny, let me know in the comments.

Until my next post, peace and love. And don’t forget to participate in the contest to win two free paperback books this month. Good luck to all who enter.

Steve, 7/9/2025

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This post “Write More Stories” copyright © 2025 Steven Leo Campbell at stevecampbellcreations.com – All rights reserved.

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